Today’s post is all about reclaiming self-love with a little bit of this incredible leopard print fur coat kindly gifted to me from NA-KD thrown in.
So, without further ado, this is for all the women who have ever been made to feel bad about feeling good.
What do you think of when you hear the term “self-love”?
To each individual, it means something different. But why are we so coy about saying out loud “You know what? I look great today.” or “I did an amazing job on this project. I should feel really proud of myself”?
We are our own worst enemies. Constantly berating our achievements and succumbing to that self-deprecating voice in our heads.
You know the one – it whispers quietly that you didn’t didn’t deserve that promotion, you got it through luck. That you should probably lose a few pounds. That you’re not good enough for your other half.
So what actually IS self-love?
According to Psychology Today, at the core of self-love are three principles: Mindfulness – accepting how you feel at any moment, good or bad, and being mindful of it.
Self-kindness – being kind to yourself and making a conscious effort to stop self-deprecating thoughts – that we’re not clever enough, not good-looking enough, not enough to be deserving of happiness.
And finally, Common Humanity, recognising that we are only human and allowed to make mistakes.
In a world where we pressure women to feel they need to “have it all” (often at the expense of our sanity) and when mental health problems are at an all time high, WHY are we taught that to love ourselves openly is a bad thing?
I love myself – and here’s why you should too
I remember hearing once, through a friend, that someone I don’t really know had said in a negative way that I “love myself”.
And you know what? Damn bloody right I love myself. And no one will ever make me feel bad about it.
My body and mind has got me through 24 years of the trials and tribulations of LIFE which I feel is an achievement in itself.
And though I grew up riddled with insecurities (some of which still rear their ugly head now), I have finally got to a stage where I feel happy and at peace with who I am and what I look like.
It’s never going to change, so I may as well learn to be content with it. Some days, I’ll feel f*cking fabulous. Some days I wonder how anyone has ever fancied me. Swings and roundabouts, guys.
How do we reclaim the term ‘self-love’?
There’s a perception amongst those who don’t understand it, that practising self-love is simply a form of selfishness and narcissism.
A reason to be a bad friend, a bad spouse, to cancel plans and concern yourself only with what you need.
That self-love is being vain, full of yourself and self-involved.
I would argue the contrary – that practising self-love is not an excuse to be a flake, but being content in oneself is the very foundation needed to build a happy, fulfilled life.
We could all use a little more self-love in our lives and together, we need to start being more vocal about it.
Reclaiming self-love is all about taking it back from these misconceptions. It’s being completely unapologetic about loving yourself and everything you are.
If you surround yourself with people who’d make you feel bad for saying “I look f*cking great in this dress” you need to find yourself some new mates – just saying!
“It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine.” – Unknown
Let us hereby proclaim 2019 as the year of reclaiming self-love – and every year after that, too.
This b e a utiful Leopard Leo coat was kindly gifted to me from NA-KD
My faux leather cigarette trousers are from Topshop (old)
My trainers are the Ciara chunky trainers in white from Topshop
My designer inspired bag is from Mereci
My baker boy cap is from Ebay